We all have at least a few slip-ups when learning something new, and learning how to be a parent is no different. Despite the hundreds of instruction manuals and an overwhelming trove of online resources, nearly every first time mom has done, or not done, things they later wish they could change. To help navigate this uncharted territory, here are some very common can-I-get-a-do-over mom moments.
Assuming only an OB can provide maternity care
The first call that expectant moms make is to their OB or regular family doctor, and while both provide maternity care, parents have other options as well. Maternity care clinics, midwives, and even additional doula services are all options for your maternity care. A choice doesn’t have to be made right away, however many women aren’t even aware that they have options, and some report that they wish they could have opted for more personal maternity care at a specialized clinic vs a doctor’s office.
So much overspending
Your baby needs very little in order to grow and thrive, and they will absolutely not know, or care, whether you spend thousands on new name-brand items, or rounded up perfectly acceptable pre-loved items. Save your cash for when they are older, that’s when you’ll need it. They will also outgrow clothes as quick as you can wash them, so keep those receipts, because you do not need 15 coordinated outfits in size 3M. For safety items, such as car seats, it is best to buy new, but all seats must pass the same safety tests and be certified as conforming to Canadian safety standards, so there is no reason to spend more. Choose a seat you can afford.
Trying to be a superhero
Even Batman knows when he needs backup, however many first-time moms have trouble asking for, or accepting, help. There’s a reason that people say it takes a village, and even if you only have a small circle around you, it’s okay to ask for help. Let someone mind the baby while you sleep, ask your partner to take over a few extra household tasks, or ignore the dishes for a bit in favour or some you time. The world will not stop spinning because you decide to skip laundry day.
Constantly making comparisons
It’s natural to compare ourselves to others, we all do it, however when constant comparisons between yourself and other moms, or your baby and other babies, becomes an obsession, it’s time to take a step back. All babies develop differently, and while every book you read will tell you about the various milestones, these are not in fact written in stone, but rather guidelines. The only person who is qualified to evaluate your baby’s development is your healthcare provider, so trust your instincts and try to avoid asking the local mom’s group “is this normal”; you will almost never get a constructive or consistent answer.